RAZVOdis.RU Divorce Psychology and divorce
Quite often, troubles occur in family life. And what to do if in the end life together did not work out. In this case, the woman begins to think about getting a divorce, because she considers this the best way out of the current situation. There are many reasons for divorce in a variety of married couples. People who get married have completely different characters. Often young people in love quickly enter into a marriage, which also quickly breaks up. What to do when love passes, and there is nothing else besides it? No common interests, no united aspirations and outlook on life.
Such couples are doomed to fail in marriage from the very beginning. In most cases, divorce is initiated by women. But what should a woman do whose husband does not agree to give a divorce? The reasons why families break up and a woman wants a divorce are identical for many people. The most common reasons:
- bad attitude of the husband and addiction to alcoholic beverages;
- the husband has another woman;
- beatings are observed on the part of the husband;
- The woman got another man.
When getting married, you need to clearly understand that life together is full of difficulties and far from ideal. There are many divorces in our society. This depends not only on the spouses themselves; the stereotypes that have developed in society, the upbringing of the spouses in the family and the very level of development of society have a great influence. Getting a divorce these days is much easier than it was in ancient times. But, divorce is quick and easy if both parties give consent and come to a common decision on all issues.
There are two ways to resolve the issue of divorce: divorce peacefully and divorce through the courts. What to do in the first case? In the case of a peaceful method, a woman just needs to submit an application to the registry office and pay the state fee. After a month of deliberation, the couple will be divorced if their decision has not changed.
If the husband does not give a divorce, the issue will have to be resolved in court. This significantly delays the process and, of course, takes a lot of effort. If you do everything correctly, you can find ways to help persuade your husband to give his consent to the divorce.
How to persuade your husband to divorce
In a situation where the husband categorically does not agree to divorce, one should not despair. There are several ways to force or persuade him. Which one will be suitable, decide for yourself. You can try them one by one. At the same time, the main thing is to do everything so as not to overdo it. You need to be wise and subtly feel everything that happens.
If you do everything correctly, you will see that your husband wants to divorce, his consent will be evident. When a man is understanding and treats his wife and children well, then it is enough to have a sincere conversation with him. Explain the whole situation calmly, looking at it from different angles. A woman’s arguments that she got married without loving a man, or has lost interest over time and now wants a divorce, will be quite convincing. There is no point in continuing such a relationship and torturing each other. Having divorced, they will be able to better realize themselves in a new life and with new people. There is also the opposite method, which is recommended by some psychologists. Whether she wants it or not, a woman needs to behave badly. This includes ignoring your husband, not fulfilling your household responsibilities, visiting people at night, and other similar methods. With such behavior of a woman, the husband will not stand it and will agree to divorce.
When a woman wants to get a divorce, she needs to think about it carefully. If a man is a decent person and loves his family, would such a decision be correct? It’s worth weighing everything several times. All these methods are described for a woman who wants to divorce peacefully, that is, without trial. If the man still does not consent to the divorce, then according to Russian law, the couple will still be divorced. Only time to think is given longer, three months. Cases when you have to go through court during a divorce are quite common. Even when both spouses give consent, they will not be divorced quickly and without trial. This happens when there are minor children.
And this always happens in court, especially if there are children. In this case, a man may deliberately not appear at the trial because he does not want to.
You need to know that if you fail to appear three times, the divorce will still take place. And the systematic absence of the husband will only characterize him from the negative side.
Documentation required for divorce
My husband won't give me a divorce, what should I do? If a woman wants a divorce, she must submit all the necessary papers to the court. When there are many controversial issues, it is better to go to a lawyer. It will help you avoid making the wrong steps. To go to court, a statement of claim is required. It is filled out according to the generally established template. In addition, a receipt confirming payment of the fee and identification of the plaintiff is required. In this case, women.
Divorce is possible only when all the necessary papers are provided to the court. The statement itself includes:
- court details;
- husband's personal information;
- wife's personal information;
- claims of any party to property;
- claims regarding children.
In addition to the application completed for divorce, the following must be provided:
- certificate of registration of the marriage union;
- extract from the house register;
- children's birth certificates.
When a divorce is carried out with the division of property or if there are children under eighteen years of age in the family, then you have to have a lot more documents available. These are certificates of the husband’s income if the children remain with the woman. This must be done to establish child support. To make an assessment of living conditions, it will be necessary to inspect the house and draw up the relevant documents. When dividing property, an inventory of the property and its value must be attached.
Where to submit documents
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If there is consent for divorce from both spouses, the package of collected documents is usually submitted to the registry office at the place of residence. In the case where the husband has not given consent and does not want to do this further, the matter must be resolved in court. Naturally, the documents are submitted to the court, which is located at the husband’s place of residence. When the husband cannot appear in court for an important reason, the court hearing takes place at the place of residence of the plaintiff - the wife. The law provides the possibility of divorce without court, in the registry office in some cases. This is possible when:
- one of the spouses is declared incompetent;
- when one of the spouses goes missing;
- when one of the parties is in prison (for a term of more than three years).
Also, the law of the Russian Federation, if the husband refuses a divorce, provides for the allocation of a certain period during which the wife can try to persuade her husband to divorce. This period is two months and begins from the moment the spouse submits the application . All the nuances regarding divorce, when the husband does not want to get a divorce, are discussed in detail in the family code of our country. The period for consideration of documents can be increased to three months if the wife changes her decision.
What to do if your husband does not give a divorce
First of all, you need to draw up a statement of claim for divorce and submit it to the district court at the place of registration. Justices of the peace do not consider such cases. And a unilateral divorce through the registry office is possible only in two cases.
- If the spouse is declared missing or incompetent by the court.
- If the spouse is serving a sentence in prison for a period of more than three calendar years.
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The following must be attached to the application that you submit to the district court:
- a copy of the passport of a citizen of the Russian Federation,
- marriage registration certificate,
- receipt for payment of the state duty - according to paragraph 5 of Article 333.19 of the Tax Code, payment of the state duty is carried out by the plaintiff and amounts to 600 Russian rubles.
This package of documents will be the reason for the consideration of the divorce case in the procedure of claim proceedings.
Even if a spouse refuses to appear in court, the marriage will still be dissolved, and his refusal or absence from court hearings will not be taken into account by the court.
Features of divorce when the husband does not agree
In a situation where the husband does not want to consent to the divorce, the process takes place as usual, as would any divorce in court. The only difference between such a divorce and a peace agreement is that it most often occurs in court and drags on over time. In the end, even if the husband doesn’t want to, the couple will still be divorced. There are some features of this process that are worth considering.
When the husband cannot come to court (for good reasons), he can entrust this to a trusted person. This failure to appear is fundamentally different from when a person does not want to go to a court hearing.
This fact complicates the process, the meeting is postponed every time and time passes.
The law provides that if the defendant fails to come to court three times, the divorce will take place. But this rule applies when there are no children under eighteen years of age and no joint property. You don’t have to mention the reasons for the divorce if you wish, because any of the spouses has the right to divorce according to the law if he wants to. If the husband does not consent to divorce, and the wife is pregnant at that time or the child is under one year old, then the woman has the right to divorce, but the man does not. What to do in this situation? All that remains is to wait until the child reaches one year of age. Often both parents want to keep the child with them. Then the court will have additional work to do. Many things need to be taken into account: the financial situation of each spouse, whether the father or mother can provide full-time care for the child, the state of the spouses' property after a divorce, and the state of the place of residence. In our society, children usually stay with their mother, but there are cases when the court makes the opposite decision.
Usually a man cannot give a child what a mother gives, and many of them do not want to take responsibility for children. What should women who decide to get a divorce do, even if the husband does not have consent for the divorce? You should act boldly, contact a lawyer and remember that her rights are protected by the law.
Attention! Due to recent changes in legislation, the legal information in this article may be out of date! Our lawyer can advise you free of charge - write your question in the form below:
Divorce through court without the consent of one of the spouses
In case of divorce through the court, the consent of the other half is not necessary. This procedure is always possible, except in the following cases:
- if the plaintiff is the husband and the wife is pregnant;
- if there is a child under 1 year old;
- if the child was stillborn, but a year has not yet passed since his birth.
You cannot demand a divorce from a pregnant wife even through the court - the husband will be refused
Important: in case of pregnancy or the presence of a child (under 1 year), the court will not take into account the fact that the husband is not the biological father.
How to start divorce proceedings
A claim for divorce can be brought to the court at the place of residence of the other half. Only sometimes at the applicant’s address:
- if a minor child lives with the plaintiff;
- if there is a certificate stating that it is impossible to travel due to health conditions.
Example: a wife filed for divorce, but her six-year-old son lives with her. In this case, she can file an application with the court at her place of residence. Or the applicant is a husband, but he has a broken leg (there must be a doctor’s report), then he can take the application to his place of residence.
Dmitry Melnikov
If the address of the defendant is unknown, then you can go to court at the last address where he lived.
Video: how divorce works in court
When can they get divorced in the magistrate's court?
If there are no disputes about alimony and property, the claim for divorce is filed with a magistrate, who can:
- satisfy the claim;
- adjourn the hearing for 1 month;
- refuse satisfaction.
The court cannot change jurisdiction at the request of the husband (wife). An application containing alimony requirements or division of property must be submitted to the district court.
What documents are needed to file a claim?
In order not to waste time, you need to prepare in advance:
- statement of claim (2 copies);
- plaintiff's passport;
- marriage registration certificate;
- a receipt confirming the fact of payment of the state duty (650 rubles);
- birth certificates of common minor children (copies certified by a notary are possible);
- a certificate of family composition (if children live with you);
- marriage contract (if any);
- certificates of income of both parties (if the issue of alimony is considered);
- documents on the plaintiff’s property (if the issue of division of property is considered).
An application for divorce is drawn up in free form; it is important that it does not violate the norms of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation
If there are no children or joint property, the judge pays special attention to the completeness and accuracy of the attached documents. The court may not accept the claim for consideration if it contains serious violations. So, it must contain:
- name of the judicial authority;
- information about the plaintiff and defendant (passport details, actual address and registration, contact numbers, etc.);
- reason for divorce;
- list of applications;
- date and signature.
Features of divorce when one of the spouses does not agree to it
Each divorce has its own subtleties, which determine the further course of events and the duration of the procedure. Often everything is decided by the chosen line of behavior.
Example: the wife initiated the divorce and division of property, but the husband was against it. In the application, she wrote the reason: “They didn’t get along” and “forgot” to attach some documents. The defendant reviewed the copy of the claim and other documents. After which he filed a counterclaim indicating the reasons “Alcoholism of the spouse and violation of the terms of the marriage contract,” and also attached the necessary medical certificates and documents for property that belonged to him before marriage. The result was the satisfaction of the counterclaim. The division of property did not bring anything to the plaintiff.
Ksenia Artyushkina, lawyer
Typical divorce proceedings are usually considered by a magistrate
Typically, applications for divorce and division of property are filed simultaneously or both requirements are contained in one application. But if property issues concern someone else (third parties), the court may decide to consider a specific case in a separate manner. For example, the court divorces spouses, and considers the issue of division of property at a different time.
Duration of divorce registration
The duration of divorce proceedings depends on the jurisdiction. If the claim is filed in the Magistrates' Court, the first hearing date is set (30 days later). Spouses receive summonses by mail. If both agree, then in a month a court decision on divorce will be sent to the registry office.
If one is still against divorce and believes that reconciliation is possible, the judge sets a period for reconciliation (up to 3 months). If the couple does not reconcile during this time, they will be granted a divorce. But the dissenting party can gain a little more time if they have time to appeal the decision within 30 days.
In district courts, the situation is a little different; a hearing can be scheduled 2 months after the filing of the claim.
In cases where both do not come to the meeting, the marriage is considered preserved and the case is closed. If only one does not appear, the court will consider the case without him or set a new date. But if the defendant does not come three times, then the decision on divorce will be made automatically.
You can get a divorce quickly if both spouses appear in court
Divorce procedure with children
When there are small children in the family, the divorce procedure becomes somewhat more complicated. Firstly, you need more documents than under normal circumstances.
Package of documents for a child:
- birth certificate,
- confirmation of registration,
- certificate from school, etc.
Secondly, the court will take into account the interests of the child. If the parents have not reached an amicable agreement about the children and have not recorded the agreement with a notary, then the issue of their future upbringing will be considered in court.
Most often, the court sides with the mother and the children remain with her after the divorce.
Alsou Urazaeva
When the question arises about who the child will stay with after a divorce, some parents try to win him over to their side
It is important to know that the court may separate the issue concerning the future of children into another proceeding and consider it separately from the divorce. The future of the children is also determined by the court. Many factors are taken into account when making a decision:
- material security of the parties;
- personal (moral) qualities of parents;
- the child’s attachment to one of the parents (relatives);
- conditions offered to the child in the future;
- the type of activity of the parents (working hours, etc.).
Many people believe that material well-being will play a decisive role, but this is not so.
Example: during a divorce, an 11-year-old child is left behind, the father demands that the son stay with him, since he has more money, a better apartment, an expensive car, a well-paid job, etc. The court took into account the child’s desire to stay with his mother and grandmother, the availability they have a private house (better ecology), which is located near the school. The child’s mother also provided medical evidence that her ex-husband abuses alcohol. The child remained with his mother.
Oleg Babkin
The court decision is made on the basis of a combination of factors that should provide the child with a normal upbringing and conditions for development, since the interests of the children in such cases are a priority.
Video: how to divorce spouses if he (she) does not give consent
So, it is impossible to get a divorce through the registry office without the consent of the other party. If one of you is not eager to get a divorce, the application must be submitted to the court. He will dissolve the marriage, because a person cannot be forced to be a husband or wife against his will. If there are small children in the family, then their future will also be determined by the court. In any case, they will try to set a deadline for reconciliation. There is no need to neglect it, this is additional time when you can reconsider your decisions again.
Vitaly Sazonov
Lawyer, author of articles on legal topics. Education: state educational institution of higher professional education "Moscow State Open University".
